Showing posts with label Fact-Fiction-Fiction Based On Fact. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fact-Fiction-Fiction Based On Fact. Show all posts

Thursday, November 20, 2008

BRAINIACS

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Do not do this... It is absolutely no fun.
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There is nothing modern about a Hull’s design. There is nothing modern and absolutely nothing fun about a streamlined, economic attack, of long sling-shotting bottom turns, screaming high-lines, and rail-buried cuts. Screw Hulls! They suck, especially at beach breaks... as exhibited by the photographs below:
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Surfing a Hull requires such strained levels of concentration that all pleasures of effortless/thoughtless flow are completely absent from the experience. Truly, it’s like choosing an antiquated slide rule over a technologically advanced supercomputer. It's more akin to dealing with the agonizing, frustrating, defeat of spending a futile life’s work attempting to prove a flawed mathematical theory, than it is to the tremendous joy attained on the progressive board designs preferred by most who engage in today’s great “sport” of surfing.
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After yet another shitty session on archaic slipstick of choice, the anonymous, crazed Brainiac in photograph above, tells 'fun' to… “Go burn in Hell!”
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But, a bit of FAIR WARNING to all those that insist on ridiculing the act of having no fun without experiencing for themselves just how liberating no fun can be:

PEAKS WILL BE SPLIT WITH CHIVALRY, BUT SHOULDER SCRATCHERS WILL BE UNQUESTIONABLY PULVERIZED FROM THE LINEUP...

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...AND KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR WOMEN.
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Shots 1, 3, 4, 7-13 by Daily Bread
Shot 2 by Matt Lyons
Shots 5 & 6 by Graham Day
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More Skhull-less-ness as interpreted by Patchie
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Thursday, July 31, 2008

COSMIC BLACK & WHITE

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Observations through the Hubble and Spitzer Space Telescopes recently discovered an inhabited mirror planet of Earth in the Pinwheel Galaxy, also known as Messier 101.
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All the cops are super groovy there, no sirens, no tude, no tickets...
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"Is there a problem officer?"
"No problem at all... just zebra stripe chillin', buddy. Have a good one."
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space photos
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

AT THE OTHER END OF THE RAINBOW

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Little does anyone know that Jack Sykes of Line Up Surfboards/Glassin' has a fume warped twin brother, Psycho Jack, that lives, eats, bathes (in acetone), and sleeps confined to the glassing bay. Seen here coveting the "Camel Toe" with his drawing of a basking shark on the deck that will be gone as soon as the hot-coat is sanded by Jeff Beck.
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